Next Valentine's Day, Give Your Loved One Chlamydia!

“I’m not against Valentine’s Day, but I’m so over the clichés. I want a gift that’s different. I want to do something original.”

This is a very understandable and not altogether unreasonable sentiment that I hear a lot among my friends leading up to Valentine's Day. Making Valentine’s Day fun and personal is a really great idea, but there's a lot of pressure surrounding exactly how the heck to do it. For a holiday stigmatized for its superficial and commercial nature, it’s not easy to think of a way to celebrate it that's fun, sweet, interesting and unexpected.

Dear readers, I would like to introduce you to Giant Microbes, by Drew Oliver. Giant Microbes Inc. produces close to 90 different critters, creatures, and diseases, adorably enlarged into cuddly plush-form. These make absolutely perfect gifts, especially if your honey is of the nerdy variety.

My first encounter with Giant Microbes was when my best friend returned from a trip and showed up on my doorstep with this:

I named him Fighty Whitey

It’s a leukocyte, or white blood cell. I like to think she bought it because, as her best friend, I defend her from all the evils of the world and keep her safe and protected. She says she bought it because it looks like me.

I don't see the resemblance.

These guys have everything, from sore throat to the black death, and they come in a variety of sizes from truly gigantic plushies to a teeny tiny collection of three in a Petri dish.

Instead of one STD, why not
give five at once?

If you want to give your sweetheart a cuddly stuffed toy, skip the teddy bear this year. If he or she has a sense of humour, give them a soft, friendly Chlamydia or Syphilis Giant Microbe, and you are guaranteed to get a laugh! Perfect for Valentine’s Day, Giant Microbes even offers a cute little collection called “Heart Burned”—five little venereal diseases in a heartshaped box!

The venereal diseases would be hilarious as a gift, but if they seem too much for you, you can do what I did. I wanted a Giant Microbe for Boyfriend’s birthday, but I thought that the STDS were a little risqué for that early in our relationship. I bought this cutie-patootie instead—Mononucleosis, the Kissing Disease! How funny would it be to say I gave him mono for his birthday! I wasn’t sure how thrilled he’d be with a purple fluffy ball with eyelashes, but to my delight, he loved it and gave her the very fitting and creative name of Cleo.

Happy birthday! You have Mono!

I don't mean to turn my blog into some kind of advertising campaign, but I am seriously hooked on these little dudes, and I feel that I need to get the word out there about them as a creative, adorable, and delightfully inexpensive gift idea. Cold or Flu for children sick in bed, Bad Breath and Diarrhea to tease friends, Mad Cow and Swine Flu for paranoid relatives—there’s really something for everyone!

Next Valentine’s Day, add something different to the mix of teddies and heart candies—or skip  them entirely—and give your special someone Chlamydia! Your gift’s hilarity and originality will be rewarded with a truly contagious smile you won’t want to miss.

Herpes: Incurably cute

http://www.giantmicrobes.com/